I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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