Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize