Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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