Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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