Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
