I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He felt like a one man threesome
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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