Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
