Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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