I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
