Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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