I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize