Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
