Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
