I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
