You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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