I'm going to jail i love you
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize