So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize