do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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