yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
