i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
