Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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