Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want to be your penis for a week.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Someone came in the potted fern
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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