We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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