belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize