I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
