fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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