apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
