you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
