Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
