He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
