Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
