Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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