I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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