I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
