soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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