Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
