just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
