I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
