i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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