The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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