I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize