just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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