She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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