Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
