I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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