how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
