Plan B is the new Plan A
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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