North Korea, Best Korea!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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