normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
