We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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