in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I want her autograph on my taint
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
