yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
