I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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