What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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