Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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