I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
