Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
